Beard or squirrel

Desteptarea

Canibalii

I: – Ce gandeste un canibal cand vede niste pitici?

R: – Azi mancam mititei.

Apel blocat in anii 90

Cautam Nasi pentru nunta

Colier personalizat

Inteligenta

Hair style

Selfie in Italy

Rochie noua

Bridal shower

Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower?
A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Doctor checkup

At the doctor’s office, Tom was getting a check up. “I have good news and bad news,” says the doctor. “The good news is you have 24 hours left to live.” Tom replies, “That’s the good news?!” Then the doctor says, “The bad news is I should have told you that yesterday.”

Caloriile

– Hei, ce faci?
– Ard calorii!
– Adică faci gimnastică?
– Nu, îmi prăjesc nişte carne…

Ce zice GPS-ul

Proprietarul masinii

– Ce automobil frumos! Este al dumneavoastra?
– Oarecum.
– Nu inteleg.
– Cand automobilul este curat si in stare perfecta de functionare il foloseste sotia mea. E o serata undeva, masina o ia fiica mea. In zi de meci, devine proprietatea fiului meu.
– Totusi, cand este a dumneavoastra?
– Cand trebuie dusa la reparat.