Tag Archives: jokes

Genie in a bottle

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home.
The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family.
The blonde said, “Awwww, I wish my friends were here.”

Russian Roulette

Five out of six people agree that Russian Roulette is safe.

Moldovenii in Paris

Soţul şi soţia, moldoveni, sunt pentru prima dată la un restaurant, în Paris.
Se apropie chelnerul de ei, le dă meniul, totul în franceză.
Soţul încearcă să facă o comandă:
– Silvuple, le carne, le paste, le cartofi, le paine, le vin.
Vine chelnerul, le aduce exact tot ce a comandat.
Soţul, mulţumit, îi zice soţiei:
– Vezi draga mea, mă descurc bine cu franceza, ai fi rămas flămândă fără mine!
La care chelnerul:
– Aţi fi rămas flămânzi amândoi, dacă nu eram eu moldovean!

Be aware

If you see me eating a salad in a restaurant, I have been kidnapped and I am trying to signal you.

Between spouses

Wife: “How would you describe me?”
Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.”
Wife: “What does that mean?”
Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.”
Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?”
Husband: “I’m just kidding!”

Garage sale

You invite friends to your garage sale because you want them to come over and buy your stuff, so you can go to their house and look at your stuff one more time.

Donation

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.

I gave him a glass of water.

$100 Bill Tattoo

A guy asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his penis.

Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why he would possibly want that.

He replies, “Three reasons: I like to play with my money,

Catre …

A Lawyer’s Ideal Weight

Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?
A: About three pounds, including the urn.

Weekend! (Video funny)

Another …. United Airlines (Gif)